Business Mentoring Matters

All mentors are unique in the skills they bring to mentoring.  But there are 3 that are the most critical in being an effective mentor.

1.  Be a good listener. This means not just listening to the words but to the whole communication: body language, tone of voice, gestures, etc. Many mentorees feel that when engaged in a mentoring session it is the only time where they get to speak and be heard. Being a good listener invites the person to share within a safe space.  

2.  Be a good facilitator and not a manager. Mentoring is a partnership between the mentor and mentoree not an employment relationship. It is sometimes difficult for mentors to step back and not take control of a situation as they feel by doing so they could solve the mentoree's problem. But this does not empower the mentoree. Facilitating involves sharing ideas, providing resources and offering sage advice when appropriate but not solving problems for the mentoree. "How do I assist my mentoree to gain what s/he needs to resolve the issue for themselves?"--that's the mantra of a good mentor.

3.  Be empathic. Understand things from a mentoree's viewpoint.  Provide support in terms of resources, encouragement and validate their feelings. It doesn't mean you have to agree with their perspective but it is important for the mentoree to feel that you are there and have genuine concern for them.  

Practicing these skills will not only make you a better mentor but will also make you a better co-worker.

Business Mentoring Fosters Career Advancement for both mentors and mentorees. Check out our free white paper on this subject to learn more by clicking the button below.

The following is a guest blog post about mentoring written by Donald Quinn. Donald's experience is a shining example of the value of mentoring and how it can transform an individual.  Donald's approach in pacing his mentoree's development is important because one must be ready to take the next steps.  Too often, with the enthusiasm of youth and our overloaded culture, we expect instant results or progress when, in reality, moving at a moderate but steady pace, a person will often win the race.

In the old days when a young apprentice desired to learn his craft he would seek out the most proficient and available master and give several years of servitude in order to learn, eventually becoming a fellow crafter. With decades of experience, the fellow crafter would eventually become a master at the craft and at that time would take on apprentices of his own to teach and train. This was what mentoring looked like over the last several centuries. Luckily for us we do not live in the past and are able, in a world of instant gratification, to rise quickly to the level of giving mentorship while still receiving it from those above us.

Mentoring is such a broad and often over used term. My own mentors were men and women of incredible success who took the time and effort to teach me the trade and share their own valuable insight. In turn, I have taken their same approach and tried to mentor other up and coming stars in the ways and means of my trade of sales. It has however, always been my practice to mentor people slowly and have them demonstrate a full understanding of what was being taught before moving them to a different area. With the generational gap and younger employees, who would rather get into a car accident than give up texting while driving, this proved to be challenging and I have lost my share of mentoring candidates early. On the other hand, for those who stay the course, it has been a beautiful developmental relationship for both of us.

Take Serena for example. Born in Eastern Europe and raised by a very ethnic family in Chicago, she came to me as a young, green and very timid sales associate. Upper management had virtually written her off because of the language barrier, they simply did not speak "Serena." In a new position with no guidance, I turned to this inexperienced twenty year old to show me her understanding of the business--while I taught her the magic of "making the sale." We worked on body language and posturing, we discussed attitude and what it takes to win, we built on confidence and creativity, and all the while I learned the ins and outs of the retail health care system in which I found myself. 

The best things take time but within this girl I saw a spark that refused to be quenched. With an insatiable appetite she took to all the lessons, practiced and perfected, and eventually was able to demonstrate even higher proficiency than me in many of the areas we had worked on. Eventually she went on to take a management spot with the company, break the all-time sales record twice, and move to the much higher paying world of banking. The evening she accepted her new job with the bank, she called me to tell me how much I had impacted her life.

The best things, sometimes, take time.

For more information on Donald Quinn, please see his bio below. You may reach him by email at: Donald.Quinn@seiinternational.net and find his book at www.thebacktobasicsbook.com

Every one of us has a wealth of knowledge, expertise and wisdom that, when passed on, makes everyone's life better. A mentor not only gives a great deal to a mentoree but also gains in exchange.  Here are some of the statements mentors have made about their mentoring experience:

• I think I gained more than I gave because I learned so much from my mentoree.
• My mentoree is from a different area of the company and I had no contacts in that area. Now I have created a network with my mentoree that makes it easier to resolve issues.
• I learned to listen better and feel that I am also now a better manager because of it.
• In sharing my knowledge and expertise with my mentoree, I began to more fully appreciate how much I really do know.
• I gained valuable insight into the struggles of women in our organization and how I can help remove some of the barriers that currently exist. Since my mentoree was close in age to my daughters, I understand them better as well.
• What started out as a good professional relationship has developed into a wonderful friendship that will continue beyond the formal mentoring program.
• As I was helping my mentoree reflect on some key career and personal issues, it caused me to do my own self-reflection so this proved to be an extremely valuable mentoring experience for me.
• I was skeptical at first about being paired with someone from another area that I knew little about but our differences really enriched our experience by learning from one another. We had a lot more in common than I first thought.
• It was really personally satisfying to observe my mentoree grow as a result of our discussions and to know that I was part of that process in helping her.
• I was concerned about the artificiality of formal matching and meetings but all the planning really did help create a successful relationship that felt natural as opposed to forced.
• I asked my mentoree to observe me in my manager role at various points during our relationship and found the feedback truly helpful in helping me to be a better manager.

If any of these statements resonate with you, please consider volunteering to be a mentor to someone at work or a student - chances are high that you will have a wonderful experience!

For a great FREE resource, check out Management Mentors' 10 Mentoring Tips For the Corporate Mentor.

1. Listen more often than you speak.
2. Approach challenges with a positive attitude when strategizing with your mentoree in finding solutions.
3. Be consistent in terms of having contact with your mentoree
4. Tell the truth. Having an honest exchange about an issue will help build trust in the relationship.
5. Be objective as much as possible. Your mentoree's perspective in only one viewpoint; so present other views when possible.
6. Affirm your mentoree when they accomplish something or arrive at a new perspective.  
7. Ask permission when needing to share feedback that may be difficult for the mentoree to hear. This is a gentle way of preparing the mentoree.  If the mentoree opts not to have you share the feedback, that is their choice.
8. Engage the whole person. It's not just about how a mentoree thinks, but also how they feel.
9. Let them grow and let them go. Be ready to let the person move away from you when the time comes. It's a sign of independence as a result of the work you've done with them.
10. Enjoy the relationship and you will gain as much as you give.

One of the things we do in our training of mentors and mentorees is to identify one's preferred style of mentoring or being mentored.  Here's a question for you:  if you were mentoring someone on a subject that your mentoree was completely unfamiliar with, which style would you be likely to use:  Directed, co-directed, consulting or self-directed?  The answer:  Directed.  Out of the 4 styles mentioned, the directed style is best used when assisting a mentoree in an area they are unfamiliar with.  A directed style can be characterized as one that tends to be one-way (mentor to mentoree), is about providing very specific information on "how to do something".  It's about providing direction, providing the map. 

But if you were the mentoree, what style should you be open to receiving?  The same:  Directed.  Mentorees need to be equally flexible in receiving the mentoring style that is most appropriate in a given situation. 

Often when I do this consulting gets chosen.  But that's a misunderstanding of what consulting is.  I can only truly consult with someone if they have enough information to engage in a dialogue about that issue.

So, partners in a successful mentoring relationship are able to adjust their styles based upon the demands of the situation being discussed.