All of us understand the importance of listening when engaged in communicating with another person. However, in an environment where multi-tasking is highly praised, we can easily forget some of the basic ideas behind good listening.
Here are some thoughtful tips on listening for the corporate mentor:
Listen to your present: Take a deep breath and while exhaling become aware of what is uppermost in your mind (your last phone call, that deadline you have to meet, etc.) and decide to put this aside until after the session is over so as not to be distracted in your work with your mentoree today.
Listen to your expectations: Imagine your partner and become aware of your own expectations of him/her in today’s session. Be mindful that today’s session is not about meeting your expectations but about being available to what your mentoree needs. Be willing to let go of your expectations so as to be more fully open to the possibilities in today’s session.
Listen to your experience: Remember that your life and career experiences have led you to serving as a mentor and that this wealth of wisdom is the treasury that you offer to your mentoree.
Listen to your authenticity: Remember who you are. As a mentor you are not being asked to be perfect nor to have all the answers but simply to be genuine and willing to help in the best way you can as the unique person you are.
Listen with intention: Make a conscious decision that you will bring your full awareness to today’s session. The act of doing this will make a difference in how you interact and what you bring to the session.
Listen beyond your preconceived notions: Labels, stereotypes, and judgments affect your ability to be open to possibilities in your interaction with your mentoree. What preconceived notions do you still hold about your partner and what impact are they having on your relationship? What can you do to change their impact?
Listen “wholistically”: With your mentoree, listen not only to the words but also attend to what is unspoken, body language, mood, etc. Communication is greater than the sum of words. Open yourself up to listening to the entire message being conveyed by your mentoree.
Listen to diversity: Be open to the uniqueness of your mentoree and how that is made known to you in the mentoring session. Your partner, like yourself, is more than just a co-worker but is also from a unique culture, religion, gender, race, etc. Be open to differences and thereby, you’ll find commonalities.
Listen to the silence: Silence can be the pause that can bring forth an important insight. Don’t fear silence but rather, accompany your mentoree in the silence and allow that person to struggle with it and see what arises from that experience. Support the silence as an opportunity for growth.
Listen for the question: Giving answers is the easiest part of being a mentor. Often, however, it is the unstated question that is most critical to a mentoree’s development. What is your mentoree really asking or seeking? Help him or her discover their answer to that question and you will have truly assisted in their transformation.
Listen for meaning: Your mentoree is not simply striving to develop professionally but to create a meaningful life. Listen for what the mentoree values and for what makes him/her authentic and assist him/her in your interactions in incorporating what they are learning into who they want to become.
A recommended approach to using this particular tool is to take a minute or two prior to meeting with your partner and removing all distractions as you prepare to engage in your mentoring session. For more information on how to be a successful mentor, download our free white paper, 10 Mentoring Tips for the Corporate Mentor.